Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
