I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
