i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
