idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
