i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I just forgot I was standing up.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
