So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
