I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
