You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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