saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
