So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
