Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
