Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
