I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Randomize
