But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
