Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
