He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
