maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
