two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
