I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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