You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
