I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
