i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
