do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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