I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
i believe in u and ur pee
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