You really coming over, don't trick.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
