He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
