I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
