Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
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