I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
