I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
