We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
