he puts the penis in happiness.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
