We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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