watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
