your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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