the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
