he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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