just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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