I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
