i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
