did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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