ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
