hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
