i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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