Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
