Non-Jews are for practice
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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