Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
