It's Friday. Sex?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
