During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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