Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
too bad you live with your parents still
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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