Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
