I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
